When in doubt, you take out your joker card: your “lack of self-esteem”. You give it fuel to be the dark force behind all your misery. You ponder over the reasons why you don’t love yourself and look for hard, intricate ways to locate your elusive love – fearful that it just isn’t there in the first place. I suspect that we can all relate to that at times. Albeit many of us in hidden places.
I’d like to propose an infinitely healthier alternative: Simply ask yourself if you are loving yourself right now in this moment. What intuitive truth are you listening to or ignoring? Only you can honestly answer that. Here are eight examples of questions I ask myself to calibrate if I am following my truth in the moment. If any of these resonate with you on some level, personalise them to your taste:
…focusing on being productive or on offering my rawest truth to the world?
…saying/doing this to fit in with what is expected of me or because I really feel it?
…with the person/people that doesn’t/don’t want to change me?
…judging or forgiving myself and others?
…Creating a version of the past or future or am I living my life (now)?
…ferociously thinking or feeling alive?
…open to this turning out however life wants it to – knowing that, deep down, I don’t need anything or anyone to be happy?
…planning in order to have the illusion of control or knowing intuitively what to do right now?
…ready to laugh hysterically at myself?
Being honest, I just invented these questions. Right now they feel relevant. Maybe tomorrow I will be asking myself if I am a green alien or a reincarnated dinosaur. One thing is for sure. Neither E.T nor T-Rex would spend their lives thinking and talking about their low self-esteem, despite their complicated pasts. We were all raised by human beings who made mistakes. We make mistakes. As hard as it definitely feels at times, every new moment is an opportunity to perceive everything in a fresh way. To let our old perceptions dissolve into a delicious mug of steaming hot chocolate… on a cosy winter’s day….
…by the log fire, playing a game of cards…
Remember – the Joker can represent whatever you choose. 😉